Fake sperm: For all your "embarrass yourself and your mom moments!"
Make a memory, today! *cheery music*
"Hey mom, I want to show you something!"
"Eh son what is that? Its all sticky and wet and... oh my God I..."
"Eh nothing mom, I was just uh... well spider web?, lol mom actually I bought a bag of fake sperm and"
"Son, what you do is natural but eh.."
"NO I SWEAR ITS FROM FAKESPERM.COM!"
"No need to be ashamed son, well actually be very ashamed!"
Moral: AHAHAHA HILARIOUS SHAMEFUL AND DISGUSTING MEMORIES FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!